How I Ended The Crossdressing Purge Cycle – A Personal Story
What Does Purging Mean as a Crossdresser?
Purging as a cross dresser is when fear or shame takes over, and you throw all your feminine things away in an effort to stop Crossdressing .
Every crossdresser has been there at least once maybe multiple times.
Boxes or bin bags that started with a single outfit can suddenly grow into a mountain of clothing which is called bingeing
This is the flipside to purging .you hide your female clothes wigs and makeup wherever you can: the back of a cupboard the garage, under the bed.
When you’re at work or anywhere outside it's all you can think about. You worry about what will happen when you get home.
Will your clothes have been discovered?
Will the contents be dumped across the living room floor?
Will someone demand answers "Are you gay? "
Is the most common question or
"Are you Transgender?"
"Do you want to be a woman?"
Like anyone has the right to demand answers in such a humiliating way .
You stutter Trying to explain:
"No I just like wearing women's clothes sometimes "
Like somehow wearing the clothes of the opposite gender feels like a horrendous crime which warrants a hastily arranged kangaroo court
Many of us have been there more than once
I understand the reaction It's pure unadulterated fear......fear of losing a relationship or even public ridicule
fear of the whispers " Did you know Bob's son James he wears women's clothes "
My current situation
In my current relationship, I went through this. I assured my partner I am not gay; I just like wearing women’s clothes sometimes,
Probably because I have gender dysphoria It's an emotional regulation thing .
She backed down, but I could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable.
It opened a whole can of worms around her self-esteem.
She worried: "You don’t find me attractive, is that it?"
No it had nothing to do with that.
But the issue kept resurfacing.
Eventually, she flung it back in my face, and I did what I have always done: THE PURGE.
I gathered all my feminine clothes and threw them away.
Almost as soon as they were gone, I felt relief not having to hide any more and then I found myself impulsively wanting them back or wanting to buy more,
I decided: No more purging no more bingeing . It’s time to look after me, to have my own time and space even if just a little to be who I want to be some of the time.
My Plan Moving Forward
I Truly love my partner, but I don’t want to go through that again.
My plan is to fully accept who I am Aveline is a part of me and she has every right to exist.
I am going to rent a storage locker, roughly the size of a telephone box. There, I can safely store my clothes & Makeup without worry or judgment.
I also plan to devote four days a year to being Aveline. I’ll tell my partner I need to go back to work early from annual leave or have another excuse, giving me a few hours of freedom to be myself.
Living near London is an advantage. I can get the train into one of the biggest city's In the world no one knows me, and frankly, no one cares what I wear.
Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives. It’s pure freedom the ability to do as I want for a few hours, and then return to my male clothes afterwards safely storing my female clothing.
This is my way of taking control and embracing who I am, without fear or shame.
What causes you to crossdress?
I feel like this is a common question that I would like to answer.
I feel like I have some level of learning difficulties brought about by my mum drinking while I was in the womb.
I feel like this has contributed to some level of probable autism and gender dysphoria.
When I learned about gender dysphoria I felt a huge sense of relief.
There is nothing wrong with me this is the way I am made and I love it 😁
It's who I am not my fault nothing I have done wrong.
Or you for that matter It's just who we are.
So Put on that 👗 dress and LOVE IT 😁
How to Avoid Purging and Bingeing as a Crossdresser or a Trans Person?
Accept your female side Enjoy and Love who you are. That's it.
Find ways of accommodating the life the way you want it.
Be sensitive to people who may struggle with who you are and In return hopefully the people in your life who you love will find it in their hearts to at least give you the space to be who you want to be some of the time.
It's all about compromise.
Remember you have Nothing to be ashamed of.
If people are intent on harming you in anyway maybe you don't want them in your life.
I wish life was like a movie but this is real life and we all have to do our best to be true to ourselves and enjoy it you only get one life LIVE IT .
Plan Update
💕 So today I was sitting thinking about my plan believe me this is precious as I don't typically get a lot of time to think.
I looked at some storage providers the price was working out to be £/$ 100 per month.
Which for me is a lot of money at the moment .
I sat and thought about it I could give myself a £/$ 100 budget for my Aveline days buy some clothes enjoy them make some content and when I'm finished donate the clothes to charity at the end of the Aveline day via a donation bin.
No bingeing No purging just enjoyment and no crazy storage prices.
What do you think? I think it's a good plan to start with.
I get my Aveline days without spending too much money and no one is upset 💕
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It common for crossdressers to purge their clothes?
Unfortunately so yes even in today's society people feel like they are doing something wrong.
When you finally come to terms with the fact that you aren't doing anything wrong you It helps to stop the purge binge cycle.
Can a man stop crossdressing?
Yes a man who likes to crossdress can stop.
I stopped for a few years because I knew that the partner that I was with would reject me .
In hindsight did she love me? Probably not was the relationship worth it probably not.
Are all male crossdressers gay?
Thank you to Sean Bean for dragging up an old stereotype when he recently played a crossdresser.
I am not gay I am not deluding myself repressing myself hiding from myself or any other way you want to put it I do not want men or think about men.
I love women I am attracted to women and I am sure so are they vast majority of crossdressing men.I am a very happy crossdressing lesbian how much more complex can it get lol 😂
Please leave a comment below I would love to hear about how you have dealt with purging
I hope that this post finds someone that might need some help. Honestly life is to short enjoy yourself BE yourself ♥️
Here is an NHS link on a Gender Dysphoria Resource I found helpful NHS - Gender Dysphoria
If you have accidentally stumbled across this article and want to read more here is my home page
👗You might be interested in reading about how I started Crossdressing
Crossdressing & Transgender Support Resources in the UK
Beaumont Society
Founded in 1966, the Beaumont Society is the UK's longest-established transgender support group. It offers a confidential helpline, support groups, one-on-one counselling, and educational resources.
Contact:
📞 01582 412220
📧 enquiries@beaumontsociety.org.uk
Mermaids
is a charity supporting transgender and gender-diverse children, young people, and their families. They provide a helpline, online chat, and resources for parents and professionals.
Contact:
📞 0808 801 0400
MindOut
is a mental health service run by and for LGBTQ+ people. They offer support groups, online chat, and befriending services to improve the mental health and wellbeing of LGBTQ+ communities.
Contact:
📞 01273 234 839
📧 info@mindout.org.uk
🌐 mindout.org.uk
Samaritans
provides a non-judgmental, confidential helpline for anyone going through a tough time, regardless of their background. They are available 24/7 to listen and support.
Contact:
📞 116 123 (free, 24/7 in the UK)
🌐 samaritans.org
Pink Therapy
is an online directory of qualified therapists who identify as or are understanding of minority sexual and gender identities. They offer a range of therapeutic services tailored to the LGBTQ+ community.
Contact:
🌐 pinktherapy.com
LGBT Foundation
offers a range of services, including free talking therapies online and via telephone, providing access to LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy and counselling with specialist therapists.
Contact:
📧 info@lgbt.foundation
🌐 lgbt.foundation
CliniQ
is a community interest company offering holistic sexual health, mental health, and wellbeing services for all trans people, partners, and friends. They provide support in a safe and inclusive environment.
Contact:
📧 info@cliniq.org.uk
🌐 cliniq.org.uk
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